Leading the Way, Connecting
During the pandemic, connections seemed elusive. We were all overworked; the stress and isolation only compounded the outcome of the stressful environment. In order to maintain a human connection, I checked in with others often.
One morning, I greeted a classmate and casually asked “how are you?” The normal response came, “I’m fine, you?” I stopped, made eye contact, and said “No. How are you? Really.” She was a little stressed, but she was so moved that I cared about her, she cried!
I had the same care and concern afforded to me by a faculty member later in the year when my dad was undergoing cardiac surgery in Texas. He went out of his way to reach out to me, make sure that I was okay, and made accommodations that I never would have been brave enough to ask for. It feels good to be the one on the other side, knowing a group of people care about you, your wellbeing, and your success.
We have a tendency to cut ourselves off from connecting with others regularly. When someone asks for help, we can shy away from the situation with a meek “I’m not sure,” as we turn our heads back to our computer/cell phone screen. One of the things I admire most about nurses is their ability to problem-solve combined with a get-it-done attitude. Rather than shrinking away and saying “I’m not sure,” I started taking steps to ask questions and solve problems. (This is one of the greatest attributes I gained during my time in EMS.) If someone walked by and asked a question about where something was or how to do something, I would jump up and say “let’s go find out!” Instantly, I formed an alliance with a colleague and we would set off on an adventure to learn something new together.
Of course, because I care about people so much, I have connected with countless patients since embarking on this journey. It’s tough to choose just one to share, but I think this story demonstrates how quickly simple acts that demonstrate care and concern can help us to form meaningful connections with our patients.
In my role as student nurse/extern, I received report on a patient who was said to be a “grumpy man.” He was frustrated, refusing medications, couldn’t see, yells out, and was just waiting for a dialysis treatment to ensure his site was functioning after surgical repair. When he (finally) agreed to let me assess him, I was able to joke with him and build a rapport. I think he only let me because we discovered he had the exact same birth day (month, day, and year) as my dad. He said he was jealous that my dad had a great daughter, as he never got around to having a wife and children himself.
While he initially didn’t want me to assess him, he eventually gave me the tour of all his unique assessment findings and gave me the background for his strange heart sounds and unusual amputation site. As it turns out, he felt frustrated by the number of people who visited him in his room without giving him any answers or fulfilling any of his requests for consults. He didn’t feel heard! I was able to iron out the communication issues that occurred on prior shifts, and by the end of shift we were working with case management to solve all of the issues.
He was scheduled to be discharged the following day. I was leaving for the day, and he asked if I’d be back the following day for his discharge. I explained I wasn’t scheduled. As I left his room, we waved, eyes full of tears, and said, “Bye, daughter!”
Author: Brittney Ahern
Brittney graduates from Southwestern college in May 2022, and anticipates earning a BSN from Grand Canyon University in August 2022. She is excited to bring her experience in EMS, heart for people, and love of learning to her first RN role.
